Arm-Fall-Off-Boy (Floyd Belkin)
First Appearance: Secret Origins Vol. 2 #46 December 1989
Maybe he was tired of people asking what his power was, or maybe he was just really proud of it and wanted everybody to know. In any case, Arm-Fall-Off-Boy (yes, it’s all hyphenated), has the ability to remove his limbs and use then as weapons. The origin of his powers is not confirmed, but it is rumored that he gained his powers through carelessness while holding the anti-gravity metal Element 152. Arm-Fall-Off-Boy was reintroduced after the “Zero Hour” story arc as Splitter. In his reintroduction AFOB attends tryouts, and is rejected by the Legion of Superheroes, after he literally falls apart during one of the tests. AFOB has appeared in only 4 issues since his introduction in 1989. Fingers crossed for a return of DC’s master of unarmed combat.
With Marvel an DC totaling approximately 17,000 characters between them there are bound to be some duds. From such big names as Dazzler, to some lesser known heroes such as Phil Grayfield aka The NFL Superpro, this is a celebration of all heroes (and villains) terrible. I will be scouring the internets to find the best of the worst. I have found many lists compiling the worst heroes of all time and there are many similarities between them. One of the most common that I found was this man.
Ulysses Soloman Archer
First Appearance: US 1 Vol. 1 #1 May 1983
While “researching” Mr. Archer, my first stop was the Marvel Comics Database where I found very little about this A-List character. The “history” section is blank, and the “powers and abilities” section is blank. There was however some information on the US 1 page. Very little information, but some nonetheless. The information on the Marvel page consisted mostly of a list of supporting characters which include Poppa Wheelie, Wide-Load Annie, and Ulysses’ brother Jefferson Hercules Archer who is apparently also a villain by the name of Highwayman. Other than this list the only other information was about the team who worked on the book who are probably all super proud of this.
Over at Comic Vine I found much more on USA. Im going to refer to him as USA from now on because I don’t feel like writing his entire name. USA and his brother Jefferson were living out their childhood dreams of becoming truck drivers, when a group of aliens came to Earth looking to recruit USA so that they could use him as a starship pilot. Truck drivers would be my first choice for starship pilots too. Don’t bother trying to get jet pilots or anything, truckers will do just fine. Since the aliens are racist and think that all humans look alike, they mistakenly recruit Jefferson and outfit his truck with advanced technology. He names his truck The Blackrig. Now with his new kick ass truck, Jefferson is worried that the aliens will realize that they recruited the wrong guy. His solution? Kill USA. Jefferson and The Blackrig drive USA off of a cliff, which severely injures USA but does not kill him. Now the aliens for some reason realize that they made a mistake in their recruitment and take USA to a hospital, where his shattered skull is replaced with a metal one that can receive CB transmissions. What kind of hospital installs CB skulls? Anyway, after that the back story gets a little fuzzy. It seems like the aliens give USA a high tech truck and then there’s a lot of racing between him and his brother.
I’m going to try not to spend a ton of time breaking down these terrible characters and their stories. Marvel obviously didn’t care a whole lot about this guy, so why should I? The US 1 series ran for 12 issues, and USA himself has been featured in 40 total issues. His cameos include appearances in The Sensational She-Hulk, The Avengers and The Infinity Gauntlet, and a couple Deadpool Team-ups. In an appearance in New Avengers, USA applied to be the nanny of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones’ baby, Danielle, but did not get the job. Stick with trucking/starshiping buddy.