S is for Stilt-Man

Stilt_Man_001

marvel.wikia.com

Originally I was going to write about Solo, but an earlier column reminded me of Stilt-Man, one of the all-time worst super villains.  Seriously, I don’t think he ever did a successful thing, (save one) which I’ll mention in a bit.

Wilbur Day stole a hydraulic ram press from a business partner and converted it into telescoping legs that allowed him to tower over NYC and commit crimes.  Already, this sounds bad.  I mean, had he ever seen a guy walk on stilts?  They aren’t the most stable thing in the world.  But anyways, he did it and was quickly and repeatedly beaten by Daredevil and Spider-Man. At one or two points he retired, but couldn’t stay away from a life of failed crime.

He was always a joke in the underworld, and even had his armor stolen from him by Turk, a low level thug of Kingpin’s.  But sadly, Wilbur Day was killed by the Punisher during the Civil War (who also killed a Jester and Jack O’Lantern in the same issue).

During a wake held at a villains’ bar, it was revealed that he was married to Princess Python, who looks like this:

marvel.wikia.com

marvel.wikia.com

How the two of them ended up together is beyond me, unless he used the hydraulics to make other body parts telescope as well.  She was the mother of another super villain, but I think he might have died, not too sure.  Also, I don’t know if Stilt-Man was the father.

The last time I saw anything about Stilt-Man was in a Spider-Man issue where Deadpool showed up and helped Spidey defeat Stilt-Woman, a criminal who seemed to be as big a failure as her predecessor.  I laughed with Spider-Man when she said that she was doing it as a homage to Stilt-Man.

Really?  Come on now.

So there he is.  Arguably the worst villain ever in the history of the Marvel Universe.  Off the top of my head, I can’t think of anyone worse.  But there is still a few days left. Maybe the tail end of the alphabet will enlighten me.

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